I am truly blessed to have great friends - and as the saying goes "you have friends for a reason, a season or a lifetime." I truly believe those words and it is important to "recognize and categorize" what type of friendships you have as you go through life...it can help you understand a lot about relationships...especially female ones. "Reason" friends may be the neighbor who lives next door or the mom who co-grade-mothered kindergarten class with you. "Season" friends may be your college friends or the friends you made as your child was going through school. "Lifetime" is obvious....these are your long-time friends through thick and thin. Note: Reasons and Seasons CAN become Lifetimes! However, Reasons and Seasons can come and go and it is important to understand it.
My childhood girlfriends and I go on at least one trip together each year. I have known most of these women since middle school. These are my "lifetime" friends. Each one is a treasure and offers their own personality to the group. For me, lifetime friends are the ones who have known you before you acquired all of your titles...mom, wife, co-worker, etc. These women know DANA. They can call me out on things and understand where I am coming from in an instant. These are also the friends I can pick off where I left off with immediately upon seeing them (some live in my town but we don't get together as often as people would think and some live farther away so mileage prohibits frequent visits).
I write about this topic because I think it is important to figure out "what juices you." For me, seeing these "lifer" friends who understand and know me makes me feel understood and validated. I can talk about my problems and trust they will give their honest opinions and know they care about me. We just have fun together too and can give each other a word or a look that can transport us back to 1983 in a second.
I do have great friends outside of this group and I have made it my mission to reach out to other neat women I have known and enjoyed being around this past year. It was the best resolution I made in 2011. I have re-connected with a college friend for lunch and a woman I knew from my work life who has kids similar in age to mine and has "freedom." I have had lunch and dinner with my son's former babysitter who is back in town earning another college degree. I have invited ladies in my neighborhood to a holiday wine and cheese with my other great "neighborhood" girlfriends. I walk with a great girlfriend almost daily and I am going to my first book club meeting this week!
Now that I am "at home," I find that having plans on the horizon keep me moving forward and give me something to look ahead to. Surrounding people who feed your soul is so important. Being happy with yourself is too....more on that to come!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Sorta Have Things Figured Out!
Well....I find it very interesting that it has taken me two years to write another entry into this blog. I wrote my first entry in January 2010 as I was seriously considering leaving my incredibly stressful mortgage lending job after twenty years. When I originally designed my blog, I had a BLACK background! Coincidence that it reflected my attitude? I think not! When I logged back in for the heck of it this week....I was amazed by what I had written, what it looked like and where I am now!
I LOVED my career....but didn't like the prospects of where the business was going. Fortunately, I was completely supported by my husband in leaving my job. While he had started a new business and it was doing well....my up and leaving work was a big risk and family income sacrifice. So....back in January 2009 when I wrote my first entry, I was contemplating my entire life....stressing about my job and trying to find direction.
Every time I came home frustrated through spring and summer of 2010, my husband's response was "quit." I didn't really believe him, and in the fall, I said "I may really do it one day, so are you serious?" And he was. I think he was sick of watching me come home SICK and fed up with my work life and the negative energy was spilling over into everything. I talked with one of my childhood girlfriends about the situation and her advice was "leap and the net will appear." I really thought about those words and decided to jump! It is the best advice I have ever received.
So...I left my job in November 2010. Since I was headed in to the holiday crunch, I was preoccupied for two months with all of the hoopla. My divorced parents also both had health issues and had I not left my job, I would not have been able to assist them as much as I did in the winter and spring of 2011. In the last year, I have found ways to fill my days that fulfill me and work for my family. (More on that to come!)
My "working" friends always ask me....what do you do all day? Obviously, I had the same view of others myself since I was "superwoman and the supreme juggler of work and home and family" for 20 years. I never knew how much stress I carried around until I left work. My son is 18, so I am not potty training a toddler, or driving carpool, but I feel like he needs me around more than ever and I am grateful I have had quality time to spend with him before he leaves the nest for his own life.
SO...somewhere in the midst of it all....I realized I needed to start thinking about ME and where this new life was leading. I wanted to find DANA again (as referenced in my first entry). I am not just someone's wife, someone's mother or worker. I now understand what makes me happy and fulfilled. What I discovered is that my passion is being creative. It always has been. Creativity can take shape in many forms. I hope to share some of the things that inspire me, a woman in Chapter Two of Life....which I now think is the best part of the whole book!
I LOVED my career....but didn't like the prospects of where the business was going. Fortunately, I was completely supported by my husband in leaving my job. While he had started a new business and it was doing well....my up and leaving work was a big risk and family income sacrifice. So....back in January 2009 when I wrote my first entry, I was contemplating my entire life....stressing about my job and trying to find direction.
Every time I came home frustrated through spring and summer of 2010, my husband's response was "quit." I didn't really believe him, and in the fall, I said "I may really do it one day, so are you serious?" And he was. I think he was sick of watching me come home SICK and fed up with my work life and the negative energy was spilling over into everything. I talked with one of my childhood girlfriends about the situation and her advice was "leap and the net will appear." I really thought about those words and decided to jump! It is the best advice I have ever received.
So...I left my job in November 2010. Since I was headed in to the holiday crunch, I was preoccupied for two months with all of the hoopla. My divorced parents also both had health issues and had I not left my job, I would not have been able to assist them as much as I did in the winter and spring of 2011. In the last year, I have found ways to fill my days that fulfill me and work for my family. (More on that to come!)
My "working" friends always ask me....what do you do all day? Obviously, I had the same view of others myself since I was "superwoman and the supreme juggler of work and home and family" for 20 years. I never knew how much stress I carried around until I left work. My son is 18, so I am not potty training a toddler, or driving carpool, but I feel like he needs me around more than ever and I am grateful I have had quality time to spend with him before he leaves the nest for his own life.
SO...somewhere in the midst of it all....I realized I needed to start thinking about ME and where this new life was leading. I wanted to find DANA again (as referenced in my first entry). I am not just someone's wife, someone's mother or worker. I now understand what makes me happy and fulfilled. What I discovered is that my passion is being creative. It always has been. Creativity can take shape in many forms. I hope to share some of the things that inspire me, a woman in Chapter Two of Life....which I now think is the best part of the whole book!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
I Feel Like An Old Fart!
How did I get here? What happened to ME?
Wife. Mother. Employee. These titles can weigh me down sometimes. Inside, I still feel like I am 20 years old but I see someone different in the reflection looking back at me. Mirror, mirror, on the wall...I am my mother after all!
I just turned 45 a few days ago and am determined that my "Chapter Two" is going to be a time of re-discovery. I hope I can peel away the layers to find "Dana" again. I know I am still in here somewhere!
This is no pity party! I have a great family and great friends. I just want the second part of my journey to be as rewarding as the first. To accomplish this, I need to remember to put me first sometimes. I thought journaling about this "quest" would make me feel accountable to myself and serve as a reminder to make time for me.
Wife. Mother. Employee. These titles can weigh me down sometimes. Inside, I still feel like I am 20 years old but I see someone different in the reflection looking back at me. Mirror, mirror, on the wall...I am my mother after all!
I just turned 45 a few days ago and am determined that my "Chapter Two" is going to be a time of re-discovery. I hope I can peel away the layers to find "Dana" again. I know I am still in here somewhere!
This is no pity party! I have a great family and great friends. I just want the second part of my journey to be as rewarding as the first. To accomplish this, I need to remember to put me first sometimes. I thought journaling about this "quest" would make me feel accountable to myself and serve as a reminder to make time for me.
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